world record for most cans opened in 3 seconds
paparazzi footage of robert downey jr buying strawberries
wasn’t this from Iron Man 2?
no
people on tumblr who don’t know what a fandom is or what shipping means
LOLL fail XD that’s not even a star….

worst possible time to find out about your superpowers
Oh my GOD
HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST WHAT DID I JUST WITNESS
Just gonna post this again because ohmYGOD

So my mom told me to record a song for her. She didn’t give specific instructions like what kind of song and she didn’t tell me not to fool around while singing, so there.. now’s my chance to do some impressions
(by order)
Britney Spears
Vanessa Hudgens
Angelica Pickles
Raven
Isabella
Bubbles
Scuttle
My dad’s GPS
Me
yOUR VOICE IS SO PRETTY I’M GONNA SCRE AM


THE GUY BEING A SPIDER IN THE BACK THOUGH
This is at least the third time I’ve reblogged this and I’m not sorry
I’m spider guy
why don’t murderers just hide the bodies in cemeteries
Castiel, Thor, and Captain Steve Rogers all walk into a bar. They don’t understand it’s a joke. They all walk out.

#i fucking love it #SHE USES MACE #TINY LITTLE MACE CAN #actually the most feminized thing in an arsenal
I fucking love how he went down like EEK— *shrivels up*
Like he was just walking by minding his own business “hey what’s uOHGOD”
“I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM WAS”
hyperbole is my favorite literary device i use it like 600 times a day
Personally, I like metaphors. They are like the sprinkles on my ice cream.
i hate to break it to you but that was a simile